you told grandpa to call you daddy
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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