Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
