i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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