i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
the liver wants what the liver wants
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
