We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
