I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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