and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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