If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
