I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
