Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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