I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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