the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
