I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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