sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
