Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
BRING THE BAGELS
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
