I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
The convent might be a nice break from real life
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