If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Bang-toberfest begins!!
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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