cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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