Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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