FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
