How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
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