HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
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