Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
