I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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