Do you still have your period?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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