Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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