I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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