I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
