At least make sure they are 18
Why
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
