remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
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