Michael Bay diarrhea
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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