Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
