I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
