so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
