i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
