That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
