He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
