I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
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