Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
