I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
