were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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