I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
