i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
