All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Randomize
