Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
