I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
