...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
