At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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