hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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