I wish I could teleport
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I don't think brook has ever known best
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
